Nervous :-(

I don't like it when the LOVE OF MY LIFE starts drinking so early in the day especially on top of the amount drunk last night.  I don't care what he says it does change his personality and whilst he seems pleasant there are underlying tones that I can't put into words.  I don't know, like a short fuse.  He is ranting at the laptop now and the language is not great at times.  He makes me feel so nervous.  His moves are over exagerated.  He would be angry if I tried to explain how I feel right now.  I'd just be a nagging wife going on about his drinking and like he says - HE DOESN'T CARE, he'll do what he pleases.  It's half three in the afternoon so I am really dreading the rest of the day as he will be able to drink everything that is currently in the house.  I just hope he doesn't go into the garage and start on that lot.  I know he is tired and it is his way of trying to ensure a good nights sleep and I'm tired too which isn't a good combination.

Trouble is I am like a mirror, I end up reflecting back what people show me.

THE LOVE OF MY LIFE has just asked me how I am.  So I tried to be honest.  I told him basically what I have just written above.  The blog helped as it let me form my feelings so when I was asked I was able to say how I felt.  He said I don't need to be worried and that he is fine and he wasn't angry with me so I got that wrong didn't I.  I know he is not totally fine though as when you have had a drink and are tired that's how you feel isn't it, fine. I need to remember to keep things in perspective and not start on one of my downward spirals.  Rollercoaster ride can go away, thank you very much!!!