Belated Post Written Last Night - Calming Down and Growing Up

I tried to hide myself away when I got home as I was upset at the lack of contact today.  That upset the LOVE OF MY LIFE and he tried to find out what was wrong (the effort he put into trying to find out what was wrong was above and beyond anything in the past - which I took to mean he was actually concerned at the change from okay in the morning to not okay on the night).  I didn't know how to tell him, or even if I should, as why should I be expecting texts from him when I know he doesn't want me. So I tried to explain, probably rather badly, and he just couldn't see my point. Then I could see Mr Hyde appearing.  So I read some blogs and let out some of my frustrations in comments and then decided life is too short and I am not prepared to be miserable any longer.  So I tried to talk to the LOVE OF MY LIFE but he was dealing with the children.  Later I went up to give him a hug to try and stop it spiralling and he just said 'What!' in that tone that he has when you know you've really pissed him off so I just walked away. That kind of said it all to me. Proved to me that I was right. I thought about it for a bit but was getting upset because at the end of the day if we have live here together for the children I can't have Mr Hyde around otherwise I will have to leave.  So I tried again to talk to him.  Finally, he explained how it made him feel hurt to be blanked by me when I got home.  I tried to explain that wasn't my intention and that I was trying to hide away as I felt hurt.  I explained, as I did, last night that the one text day that I had been getting from him over the past few days had meant an awful lot to me because it showed that he had thought of me.  I explained that when I didn't hear from him today after explaining last night that I had appreciated how considerate he had been, I thought it was because he had realised that he was giving me the wrong message and had stopped.  Apparently that was not the case.  He said that this is how we got into this mess in the first place because we didn't talk to each other.  I said that I did appreciate that he tried very hard to find out what was wrong. Oh, this is coming out all garbled. Well to cut the story short. The LOVE OF MY LIFE says that I just need to come home and say - I am upset because..... and just say it. Which I realised is probably the adult thing to do and that I have been acting like a child.  (I've never been very adult no matter how old I get).  So the lessons then:

• Just because I don't get a text (and his Twitter women get lots of messages from him) doesn't mean he is not okay with me.  
• I need to say exactly what is wrong, that I am upset and why?
• I need to remember not to shut off as that just prolongs the agony.

So hopefully, despite being upset today, I may have taken a small step to Me Discovering Me?