I can feel things changing again. We had a lovely morning, the LOVE OF MY LIFE being so kind to me but then we went shopping with the children and it started to turn again. We are all so tired so may be that is the reason. that (need to try and remember the Perspective) and the fact that we were taking so long, or the fact that we were interupting his tweeting. Then when we got home he got a bit angry which I find quite scary. I don't know how much he has had to drink though. Please don't change I just need more time to get used to things. Just need to get through each day as calmly as possible with as much sleep as possible. Should have gone to bed by now. Have been reading the whole of the blog I posted about earlier. Read it from the beginning right through to the latest post. Been crying my eyes out so the LOVE OF MY LIFE wanted to know why I was crying - he hates the crying and the roller coaster ride. I just said, I just reading someone's blog. Then I got all the questions about what was it about, what was the subject. In the end I just said what do you think! He said husbands doing bad things. Yes :-((
Saturday, 7 May 2011
In the same bubble...
I have been at it again searching for a new blog to follow today. The fourth bubble pop (on wefeelfine) took me here - Breaking Up Is Hard To Do
So many similarities with my situation except that THE LOVE OF MY LIFE has only gone off mentally, not physically. But her words 'he still loves me but is not 'in love' with me' is EXACTLY what THE LOVE OF MY LIFE told me at the beginning of this year.
Proves the point that you are never alone and you are never the only one going through stuff. This blogging idea is wonderful because it helps you see this quite clearly and that gives you some kind of support and strength.
Well done to all you bloggers out there sharing your thoughts and feelings - you are probably helping many, many people. Keep at it.
Friday, 6 May 2011
Today's Bubble Discovery..
I been clicking bubbles again on that We Feel Fine site. This is where it lead me tonight My Big Fat Super Super Obese Blog (soon to be: My Getting Skinny Super Super Teeny Weeny Blog
Where will your clicking take you?
Update: Just been reading through the above mentioned blog - this post here is so important, I want to remember how to find it when things get me down - Perspective
Thursday, 5 May 2011
I'm 21...
... well in blogging terms. I have posted 21 blogs since I started on 15 April 2011. Shocking! I actually stuck to something longer than 2 seconds. That I am going to claim as a success. This will be blog number 22 in 21 days so whilst I have not posted daily I have somehow managed to do an average of one blog a day. So for me that is success in itself. I have not been focusing enough on the actual task at hand mainly due to the fact of every day life getting in the way but at least I have a record of my thoughts and feelings. Time flies so incredibly fast lately. Do you realise we are heading to almost half way through 2011? How did that happen? We'll be seeing the Christmas decorations in the shops shortly.
Wednesday, 4 May 2011
I Feel, You Feel, They Feel, We all Feel - check out the Feelings
Anyone come across this website before? - http://wefeelfine.org/wefeelfine_pc.html
I've been looking at the blogger stats again (!) and it shows the 'Traffic Sources' and the above one stood out. So I had a little look, cautiously, as I am always wary of unknown links and it is crazy. Little bubbles moving around the screen and they are all feelings being posted by people. Hundreds of them all different colours, shapes, etc. Someone must have hit on my bubble which, I assume, had picked up a blog where I must have written - I Feel or some such wording.
I clicked on some of the bubbles - the square ones bring up pictures and well as quotes. When I clicked on the source of the quote it took me to a blogger page. I have been wanting to discover other blogs of interest but there doesn't seem to be a good way to do it. This, WeFeelFine, seems to be the perfect, random, crazy solution.
Wish I had known about this site when the Royal Wedding was on (or the other news this past week) as it would have been interesting to see if there were significant feelings. Isn't technology amazing! And the people that create with it. Little screen snap...hope that's okay?
Where will your bubble clicking take you?
Mine took me here - 2001emotionalfeelings.blogspot.com which by coincidence made me think of this blog post - Half Lie/Myth/Shielding from the Truth #5 - iknowineedtostoptalking.blogspot.com
Funny old world.
OMG - Stop Press....
Another part of the map coloured in - Netherlands 2. This is going to get addictive - I could travel the world via my blog stats. Well, I could if the people stopping here would leave a trail to their blogs. ;-)
This Blogging Lark...
I have to say this Blogging Lark certainly makes the world feel smaller. I didn't expect anyone to stop by at my blog given the amount of blogs, etc that must be out there in the WWW, and the fact that I must be one of the most boring people in the Universe, so I find the Stats provided by blogger fascinating.
If you have a blog - what countries stop by to take a look? Has anyone coloured in the whole world map yet? I'd love to know - blog about it and post the link to your blog in the comments so I can 'read all about it', please. :-)
Here are mine:
* ignore this figure as most were probably me before I worked out how to stop counting myself.
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Tuesday, 3 May 2011
Was going along fine today...
...until I just saw a retweet by THE LOVE OF MY LIFE of the Canadian love of his life. The tweet was made by her directly to someone else and was quite meaningless so can't see why he chose to retweet it. Not what I want to see in my timeline just before going to bed :-((
Anyone want to try and remove the salt from my wound?
Yesterday's News.
I wanted to comment on the big news event yesterday but didn't have time. It is playing on my mind so I figured I'd better do it now. I understand from people's tweets that there was some celebration yesterday at the news of someones death. I am struggling with the concept of celebrating someone dying. I don't think it matters how bad a person is, should we really be celebrating their death? Yes, there might be relief to know that someone bad can't do bad things anymore (although this is not the case of the wicked witch is dead and everyone lives happily ever after, this is a case where their death will just create more people who want to carry on their 'work') but to actually celebrate someones death does not seem right. Perhaps it is more appropriate to mourn the life they lead and the footprints (or should that be bootmarks) they left in the sands of time. I have just seen a tweet that sums up what I was thinking/feeling:
"I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy." - Martin Luther King, Jr
Thanks to @michaelstjames via @stephenfry
What are your thoughts?
Sunday, 1 May 2011
Finally Stopped Crying...
THE LOVE OF MY LIFE is being so patient with me. I really do appreciate it. I don't want to cause him to change from Dr Jekyll back to Mr Hyde again. I don't know what is wrong with me at the moment. It's not the time of the month; THE LOVE OF MY LIFE and my children are here; it is a glorious sunny day AND I am not at work. Why on earth I am feeling so miserable? It can't be SAD so may be I am depressed?
Who knows?
To try and get myself back on track, and because it is the beginning of new month, I thought I would take a look at 'The Really Useful Book for Successful Living' by Bob Dix. Ironically, the theme for the month of May is - A Successful Career. Well for those of you that have noticed my other blog posts I don't have a very fulfilling job. I have been waiting, and watching, for a long while to see if a job in my profession would come up at a particular company that I am interested in working for. And it has! The CV and Letter have to be in tomorrow so it is a bit of a co-incidence that May's theme is - A Successful Career.
Today's question is - Do you enjoy your work? And today's affirmation is - I'll find the job that is right for me. I am rather hoping it is a good sign.
The only problem is that my current job is soooo unfulfilling that I don't have any examples/achievements to brag about on my CV and I can't tell lies. I wouldn't even want to bend the truth a little because it not something I can do. I am what I am and I can't be pretending otherwise, so I am not holding out much hope. My wonderfully procrastinating nature has decided, given my current frame of mind, that I should leave the application until tomorrow!
I'll leave you with the quotation and meditation for the month as provided/edited by Bob Dix.
Quotation (rather fitting for the Me Discovering Me blog!)
“Thoroughly to know oneself,... is the highest art.” Theologia Germanica (c 1350)
Mediation (Again rather fitting for the Me Discovering Me blog)
"Life is real! Life is earnest!
And the grave is not its goal;
"Dust thou art, to dust returnest,"
Was not spoken of the soul.
Trust no Future, howe'er pleasant!
Let the dead Past bury its dead!
Act, - act in the living Present!
Heart within, and God o'erhead,
Lives of great men all remind us
We can made our lives sublime,
And, departing, leave behind us
Footprints on the sands of time.
Let us, then, be up and doing,
With a heart for any fate;
Still achieving, still pursuing,
Learn to labour and to wait."
H.W. Longfellow (1807-1882)
- A Psalm of Life (Stanzas 2,7,8 & 10)
And I'll leave you to ponder today's question - Do you enjoy your work?
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