Faithful? Confused :-(

What does being faithful mean to you? Is a guy/husband faithful as long as he doesn't sleep with anyone else?

What about if he is possibly swapping pictures with people or maybe even one person or using video like Skype and doing heaven knows what?

What if you think he is in love with someone who is already married and that is why he hasn't physically left yet because she is apparently happily married but she is having long £85 telephone calls with someone else's husband? Just good friends apparently.

What are you suppose to think when the LOVE OF YOUR LIFE tells you he no longer wants you but then this weekend spends it drinking and then says he loves you same as he did a few weeks ago, when he had, again, been drinking? Is the (more excessive that normal excessive) drinking, and for want of a better word, the 'clinging' to me, because the married woman has been distant with him?

Is this a midlife crisis? Is this a typical Librian trait - falling in love with falling in love? I still believe that poem is about her but he says the poem is just made up but it's not. It's not. So all the lying, is that a form of cheating? Why lie? What is the point? Because he now has no job, can't drive now until January and has no money of his own to find somewhere to live after the lease on the flat expires. The flat we took on, years too late, to try to see how we got on living in our own space. Surely he should have cut ties with the Twitter world and Twitter lovers. How can you see how things are if you are constantly talking (and by constantly I mean Constantly) to someone else? Why didn't he say something to me years ago instead of pretending to love me? Makes me feel that there is not even any respect there, I'm not even treated as a human being with feelings.

To say I am confused is an understatement. I have to go to work today after having spent last week, abroad, alone with the LOVE OF MY LIFE (and by alone I mean me and him and his tweeting to the £85 phone call woman and others). I need to work, I need to keep my wits about me so I can keep my job as I am the only bread winner now he has given his job up. He still hasn't given up the drink though despite saying he would. People around me think I am a mug, I guess. Wish I knew what to think, feel and do. Can feeling myself moving back behind my brickwall, locking the doors and windows, and pulling down the blinds. My sparkle is going to end up disappearing forever. :-(