He is destroying me and I don't have the strength to resist or cope. If I don't get out I don't know what will happen. Life is POINTLESS.
It's like pulling off a sticking plaster, you know it is going to hurt like hell and you don't know how bad the wound is underneath. It could get better without the plaster and with some fresh air.
Picking at the corners and managing to pull half of it off then leaves it to catch on something causing more pain. Stupid us tried to stick it back down. Now I get double the pain. How stupid am I? I have to go through this again but this time I've got severe depression to deal with as well. How can I cope? Flylady and mini habits mastery had better be as effective as they claim. I have to ignore Monday and focus on getting through the next five minutes, working through my routines and then see where I am. And on and on until I can cope a bit better.
I think I am his crutch but I'm broken now. He needs to find a new crutch. I'm destroyed.
He treats strangers better than me. I was committed to a prison sentence and not told of my crime until 2011. And my crime - I wasn't THE ONE. And he knew it before he married me. And stupid, stupid me tried to carry on and show him just how much I did love him. And FOUR years later, whilst times have been better (hence the lack of posts) I AM STILL NOT THE ONE! Never was, never will be. End of.
I drive him to drink because I'm not the one he wants to be with, and his drinking destroys me. I resent it and drive him to drink more and on and on and on. DESTRUCTIVE RELATIONSHIP.
It sounds like you need to get out of that relationship. I know that it's extremely difficult and a lot easier to say than do but I think you will not find peace until that happens. If you read any info about fly lady books she talks about the awful relationship she had been in and how she had to get out of it. She was very depressed and at the lowest point. You deserve much more than the way he is treating you.
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