THE LOVE OF MY LIFE has been so kind to me this last week. He had a complete Dr Jekyll, Mr Hyde change happen last Saturday when he turned back to Dr Jekyll. It's been like heaven although there are times that I can see his heart is not really in it. Today, however, I am feeling rather paranoid because I feel he is not just Tweeting his ladies (they apparently have a fan club for him) but I feel there is something more. It none of my business, I guess, since he has made it clear he no longer wants me but it still hurts. He is in love with a woman in Canada that he met on Twitter and now I am no longer The One, she is. He accepts that since she is married and in Canada that there is no future for their love and that's why he is still here. Very sad really because if two people love each other they shouldn't let distance come between them. He is being so nice to me and all I am doing is throwing it back in his face as I have asked him about 5 times today who is he talking too. He says he is just Tweeting the usual lot but he is not on a Twitter type app. I know that these Twitter people use email, ping and skype as Twitter is apparently too slow. They all really love him. He is very discrete with making sure I can't see his screen but that just shows to me he is hiding something. He can talk for hours to these women but we barely speak. I just don't know how to talk to him and so many subjects are taboo. He is so supportive of them if they are having a bad time or upset about something or other. I wish I had someone to talk to like that. I guess that's what this blog is really about. It's my 'someone to talk to'. Things are never going to be the same again. I've lost my husband, lover and best friend all in one go. Why can't I just accept that I messed things up so badly by not showing him that I loved him and be grateful he is still here. Why can't I just be happy? I am fed up of crying alone in the dark.
There are so many similarities between your situation and mine. I don't know how old your husband is but there is definitely a mid life crisis that men go through - for some its cars or gadgets. For others its another woman. I have spoken to so many women whose husbands have done this to them after being married for some time. I think they just change and is not necessarily to do with whether you have showed him you loved him. It swings two ways.... as you have read my blog you will know that my husband and I could and did talk about everything but since the woman came along he clammed up and so we never had the discussions I wish we had. I have come to the conclusion that it takes two to Tango and that he needed to open out to me and didn't. Men are absolutely from Mars !!!
ReplyDeleteHi, Slava
ReplyDeleteYes, funny you should mention that as someone else has asked if it is a midlife crisis thing. I can see where he is coming from with the not feeling loved. He has explained what I was and wasn't doing that made him feel like that I whilst he got the reasons why wrong, I can see how he could come to that conclusion. However, it wasn't because I didn't love him; it was breastfeeding babies, having a little one in bed with you all the time, not getting ANY sleep with the children not sleeping the night through, being too fat and too tired to go to the pictures etc (and if I am honest, I do struggle with the drinking). If he had talked to me though, years ago, maybe things could have been very, very different. I hope things work out for you it must be really dreadful to have someone to talk to and trust like that and then to have them taken away from you. Hope you had a good day today.
Best wishes
MDM