Yes, that's right. It's all wrong. Again. I don't know what I have done. He says he is just tired but he has been tired before but the tone of his voice and how he treats me says so much more than just being tired. It is exactly like before. Exactly. The way he looks at me, his tone with me. He can't even disguise it. The drinking has increased too which was always a sign that he is not happy. I can't live like this though. I can't go back. I can't do it. He needs to make up his mind what he really wants. The other side of things hasn't been right for ages. He says it is because of an injury but seems anytime I am around, lets just say, I seem to deflate things. It's done nothing for my self esteem. You are told you are not the one and you see messages to one of the other women telling them you never were the one and that they are the most perfect person in the world and then things get 'deflated' when you are around. How's that supposed to make you feel?
Crap that's how. I suggested we ban 'things' for 6 weeks to try and remove any pressure and to let things heal which is much better than being reminded that you're not really wanted. I feel so trapped and lost and alone. Why can't he just work out what he wants? No point in hanging around for second best. One thing's for sure I need to get back to me discovering me.
